(One of our topics was moving students from the Fringe the outside looking in) to the Core. How is that accomplished?
The following are the thoughts of The ADD Youth Pastor (and I approve this message.)
Let's look at just moving them from the fringe and into the community. From hanging on the outside of youth group, coming to Sunday morning church with mom and dad but not showing up to participate or get connected to the rest of the youth group. Some thoughts:
- The Core has to discover that they need to be the ones to reach out to the Fringe. (it just comes better from a peer than from a overweight, old, youth pastor) So their is a student's responsibility from the Core.
- Youth group has to have a draw. If it is boring, if there is no hang time, if it is an hour long lecture, if the adult leaders sit around in their own little pocket of fellowship instead of rubbing elbows with a student and whooping them in a game of Uno, if the Core are snobs then why would a Fringe want to take part.
- The Fringe has to take a gamble and try youth group at least once. This is where positive peer pressure can really come into play. Which leads to the next. . .
- Parents have to parent. Christian parents have to take the lead by setting the example. Are they connected to a small group themselves? Is corporate worship a priority in their home? Parents have to say, "Wednesday night I'm taking you to youth group. If this is freaking you out find a friend and Ill take them with you". Possibly stop for pizza on the way back and debrief and find out how it went. I'm a parent and I can tell you that I will never let Ty not go to school because "I don't want to go" comes out of his mouth. I'm the parent and I'm supposed to know best. How much more important is surround our children's lives with the Word of God? I have always liked this parenting saying: "If you don't parent your teen you won't like who will.
- If the Fringe doesn't have Christian parents that is where it is our responsibility as a church to step in and mentor the Fringe as a community of believers.
So evaluate:
The youth group meeting
The Core student's attitude towards the Fringe
Your responsibility as a Parent before God (Deut. 6)
Your responsibility as a community of believers to students that are in need of Christian adults influencing their lives.
9 comments:
yeah, andy, good post. in my opinion, a good analysis of how to get "fringe" teens into the "core". i especially agree with 1) parents setting the example and 2) the "core" reaching out to the "fringe". i experienced both of these when i was a young teen.
i was extremely shy and didn't like to meet new people. when i was old enough to go to youth group instead of childrens group, i remember wanting to stay home and not get involved with youth group. but my parents were connected with a small group at church on wed. nights, so i was "forced" into going to youth group. when i started going, a few people in the "core" of our group reached out to me and made me feel like i was an important part of the group. now i look back on what i learned and who i met in youth group and thank God for His grace.
give our love to misha and ty!
p.s. congrats on reaching the 50,000 hit mark! you have about 49,990 more hits than i would have if i had a blog - it turns out that add youth pastors are much more interesting than medical students, imagine that. :-)
You should consider doing a "The Call" one-day thing just for youth leaders sometimes...
Just wondering what Doug Fields says in his book about the 5 concentric circles and moving them from the community to the core?
I ALWAYS get something good out of your blog. TOday I got something GREAT. Thanks for the reminder (and we DO know this one) that parents have to parent.
We are in the process of changing churches and have one disgruntled teen on our hands. That was some good confirmation for us!
Clay - Fantastico. I was hoping Esma would drop by the Blog Party with some tamales and chocolate chip cookies.
Nate - I threw that question out to the youth leaders and have received a few responses. I'm looking towards the fall.
Rick - Doug doesn't know what he's talking about. Just joking! I thought the same thing but I am letting another youth leader borrow it right now.
Anonymous - Hope you find a church with a strong youth minsitry.
@Rick & Andy. . .Doug Fields covers the subject (Purpose Driven Youth, in case someone isn't sure of the book we're referring to) in Ch.12. The whole chapter is given to this using a baseball field diagram and he talks about knowing when to move through these stages with youth.
@Andy. . .very good post!
I would love to hear more about positive peer pressure, especially when it's from other youth.
The school analogy is great! I've used it like this before (but I liked yours better), "If your youth found out from a teacher that Santa wasn't real you wouldn't pull your kid out of school. Why would you pull your kid out of youth?" I had a parent to do that back at KH.
I think I've told you think before, but just in case, I really like your philosophy on the role of parents (which is Biblical) and how youth pastors can step in when the parent isn't present (or doesn't believe).
Wow - what a profound post. This is exactly what I see happening in my church. We also have such a hard time reaching our youth because we don't have support from our parents. It's really bad. I envy your church experience.
Amen...Preach it to the parents! As a teacher and a mom of 2 I am so fed up with parents who take no responsibility for their parenting. You don't give small children and young adults responsibility for the "big" choices and I think church is at the top of the list! I was never given the option of not going simply because I didn't want to and my kids aren't either! Thank you for your honest analysis of the situation. I only wish we have such a person at our church when my daughter is ready for youth group!
P.S. found my way here from Nate's blog...hope you don't mind my comment!
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