In beds, all across this great land of ours, there are teenagers who don't want to get out of bed and go to church with the family. Stayed up too late, friends won't be there, just want to sleep in, want the house to themselves while the rest of the family is gone for various reasons.
In homes, all across this great land of ours, there will be parents who throw their hands up in surrender to their teen's demand to stay in bed. Tired of the fight, don't want to force "religion" on their teen, "don't want to drive their teen away", just don't feel like dealing with it for various reasons.
Today, all acros this great land of ours, there will be senior pastors who wonder to themselves, "Where are the teenagers today?". The senior pastors will question the youth pastors later this week in staff meeting, "how come you can have 50 kids on Wednesday night but we don't have 10 on Sunday morning?" The youth pastors will feel pressure, some will even lose their jobs.
Why don't they come to church? Some parents have given up on parenting and shepherding their child's heart. I think that the problem lies in the church service. Most students aren't spiritually mature enough to get the "it's not about me" attitude, mostly because they aren't seeing this lived out by the adults in their lives and in their church. Who is the church service geared towards? In most churches the service is definitely not geared towards students. Students don't listen to organ music on their iPods. Many sermons aren't even designed to be applied by students. Forty-five minutes is a long time to sit and listen to a "lecture".
These are my thoughts on teens and Sunday church attendance. What are yours?
27 comments:
you've hit the nail on the head. we need to reach our youth by being creative and exciting, to the point where they wake up and are the first ones ready for a church service.
I don't have a teenager yet..but my kids love church. One thing I love about my church is that our Senior Pastor has taken the teens under his wing. They have a praise band that is in charge of worship on 5th Sundays in the morning and the 4th Sunday in the evening. They have now taken it a step further and go to other churches to teach other youth to lead worship. The youth pastor also leads children's church and has all the teens involved in teaching and leading younger ones. So they have something to do, they feel involved and they come! It's really cool and I hope it continues on until my kiddos are teen age! My kids really look up to the teenagers in the church as they are involved in ministry not just coming to hang out or because the youth pastor is cool!
I don't know.
Kids will endure organ music if:
1. Their parents live an authentic Christian life and they see that faith is something vibrant.
2. They have peers who live an authentic Christian life.
As a teenager I experienced 4 different churches. (We moved a lot and once left a church because my parents had a disagreement with leadership...wrong move by my parents, btw).
Three of the four had little or nothing "exciting" for the youth. Even their youth groups were boring. And often I didn't want to go.
But I went. Why? THERE WAS NO CHOICE IN OUR HOME. (caps for emphasis). My parents were the parents, like it or not.
The church that had the happening youth group, usually with a charasmatic leader, was far easier for me to attend. I would have gone without my parents. But it wasn't because of the happening worship service. We endured that because what was happening in the lives of the youth was contagious. We were there on Sunday more for the fellowship than anything else.
We were also taught by our youth leaders the primacy of the church gathering, whether we understood it or not. But our spiritual fervency (and it was there) didn't come from Sunday morning. It came from iron sharpening iron.
We even had our "own" service on Friday nights. Kids did it all. But we still came out in force on Sundays.
You won't find me dissing the "relevance" issue, but I don't think it's the main thing. Rather, I think the Main Thing is.
It's for the same identical reason that we can say to older, more traditional worshippers in our church that on Sundays you may have to surrender your preferences for the greater cause; for the bigger picture.
If they say, "I don't like it so I stay home", do we change to accomodate them? No. We tell them they're selfish and immature. We tell them "It's not about you."
It's about who is the bull's eye in your Sunday morning target.
I think you got it exactly right when you say "45 minutes is a long time to sit and listen to a lecture."
I think churches need to rethink and revitalize the way to get the message across. Teenagers, young adults...and even old middle age people like myself...want something interesting, exciting, different.
I don't go to church anymore, mainly because it's just the same old, same old, same old. Of course, maybe I was just going to the wrong church. But if there was something more diverse. Something less stoggie (is that a word?) Something that didn't give me the "holier than thou" feeling....I would be more inclined to go.
I think church needs to deal more with real life issues and not have that feeling of being squeaky clean. Church should be open and welcoming of people, no matter their circumstance, life style choices, or habits. Unfortunately, my experience with church has been anything but that.
One last thought. To specifically draw teenagers in, I think you need to focus on technology. They are all about texting, IM, computer games, face book, blogs. If you can somehow sneak your message/sermon in using these technologies in as many clever ways as possible, you might really have a hook there.
Wow, lots of good dialog here. I agree w/ much of what Rick has said. Our youngest child is a freshman in college...and we almost never gave our 4 the "choice" to attend church. When we'd hear griping, "boring,blah, blah," we'd try to point out that the purpose of the church is to bring others to Christ, not entertain the believers. But we've been blessed with a forward-thinking, relevant church body. I do see a problem w/ some middle-agers leaving us because the worship isn't to their liking. Sorry, but it doesn't have to be...and if it's music that's 10 or 20 years old, then it's old and unappealing to the young. Sadly, my husband and I are becoming a small minority in our church..we NEED the wisdom of mature believers...but they leave for selfish reasons...
Also...let's encourage our young people to SERVE. Today, as my 18-yr-old daughter helped at the coffee bar, a group of teens gathered around. Now, that's cool ... our teens need to be givers, not just takers.
My thoughts immediately went to our youth pastor who is an amazing man who's love for Jesus shines through in EVERY thing he does. Not only does our youth meet every Wednesday night for an awesome message, fun, games, music...but nearly every one of the 50-60 kids that show up on Wednesday nights also show up on Sunday mornings! PRAISE GOD!
All that to say I think it is because we have a pastoral team that CARES about the youth, GETS the youth, and takes time to GET TO KNOW our youth. We have parents who genuinely love the Lord and are committed to raising their kids in a community of believers. We as parents and staff meet regularly to pray specifically FOR OUR YOUTH.
Do some of them come reluctantly? OH YES. But the parents MAKE them. Do our youth consistently invite others from school and work to join them at our Wednesday night group as well as Sunday mornings? YES! Why? When asked, they will tell you it is because they feel loved, understood, and SAFE there. They are unabashedly NOT ashamed to speak the name of Jesus Christ! HALLELUJAH!
I strongly disagree with the premise and your conclusion. It is the Spirit of God--alone--that works in the heart. If you look at Scripture, the job of the elders is to preach the Word--period--as Paul exhorted Timothy to do. Paul even stated that he didn't come preaching with "enticing words." Does this mean to be unprepared and slipshod in one's preparation? Of course not, but neither is the pastor to go out into the community and use it as a barometer for instruction in matters of the Church. I have kids (most are grown, but we still have two teens at home), and they know that on Sunday mornings, we attend church. Have they always been thrilled with having to get up and go to the church? Absolutely not--but neither have I. My heart is sinful and I would much rather stay at home (on some Sundays) on a cold Sunday morning and watch football. Should the church acquiesce to my desire of having football games piped in?
I attend a large church in CA, and the youth pastor may go long on a Sunday morning, but that's OK. Kids have to attend classes that are far less valuable in content for class periods that exceed 45 minutes. Our pastor teaches a minimum of 45 minutes each Sunday to a house full of worshippers. People sit and listen to the Word being taught. It isn't the role of the Church to have a "hook" as one comment stated. BTW, the church I attend built a brand new building that seats 1200 full of technology. There are monitors on the wall, a pulpit that goes up and down, etc. That, though, is not why people attend. That would get old fast. Rather, it is the power of God and the work of the Holy Spirit that draws people in. John MacArthur isn't gimmicky, but Grace is packed Sunday after Sunday. He exposits the Word--and it is sufficient.
Kids aren't too immature to "get" that it isn't about them. They "get" it, but none of us like that proposition, regardless of spiritual maturity. We're sinners, after all.
Being comfortable in church isn't the point of church. The Word penetrates our hearts and opens our eyes to our sinfulness, and the need for God's grace. If it doesn't have that affect, then what is the purpose?
The point that I was trying to make was that if you want to draw more people into the church so that you can spread the word, you need to look at what would draw them in. If you're not trying to draw more people in, then aren't you just "preaching to the choir"?
See, this is what turns me off of church: the inflexibility, the "I'm right-you're wrong."
In terms of bringing more youth to the church, sure it would be nice if parents would be parents and make their kids go to church. But realistically, that doesn't always happen. If you want to bring in those youth that don't have a good family structure, you need to look at things from their point of view. You shouldn't just write them off because they don't have good parenting.
If you need a "hook" to draw people in, I don't see a problem with that. You're drawing them in. You're getting them interested. From there they can learn. Isn't that what it's all about?
The Bible says that the Church is to "build up the saints," so in effect, yeah, it is "preaching to the choir." The Bible talks about believers sharing the Gospel with others, and then, discipling them.
Is it a biblical mandate to go to church--or not? I believe that it is, so if it's "stodgy," is that an excuse not to go? What you're saying, it seems to me, is that the Church should tailor the way they teach to students who don't not want to listen to a "lecture" for 45 minutes. Really? Is that a Scriptural position?
I'd love to hear a Biblical worldview from ADD Youth Pastor that instructs pastors/teachers to make it fun and entertaining to go to church. It is the job of the Church to bring the Word and the whole counsel of God.
Everything we do must be seen through a Biblical worldview prism. Otherwise, I may as well go to the movies on Sunday morning, or stay home. The Puritans saw things like Bible reading and such as "graces" that God has graciously given us to practice.
Here is a quote from Dr. Joel Beeke's article on the Puritans. I think it's appropriate to quote here:
"The Puritans teach us to think in order to be holy. They understood that a mindless Christianity fosters a spineless Christianity. An anti-intellectual gospel will spawn an irrelevant gospel that doesn't get beyond ‘felt needs.’ That's what is happening in our churches today. We have lost our intellect, and for the most part we don't see the necessity of recovering it. We do not understand that if there is little difference between the Christian and unbelievers in what we believe, there will soon be little difference in how we live."
I could agree more.
Make that "COULDN'T" agree more.
So should church be boring?
It is easy to take the whole counsel of God and preach it in such a way that hold the attention of the listener. It's not about fun and entertainment it is about preaching the Word straight and true in a relevant way. There has to be balance. To say "preach the whole counsel of God" could be carried to the the point in the extreme line of that logic of simply standing in the pulpit and reading from the Bible for 45 minutes without any exposition even worse, no application.
I went to church today and it was fun. I also was challenged as I heard how God's Word is impacting their lives.
By the way the majority of our students show up for church each Sunday morning and many of them are involved on a ministry team and serve.
The Bible actually says in Ephesians 4:11,12
And He gave some as apostles, and some as prophets, and some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers,for the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ;
As a parent (and parenting figure) of 2 teens, a pre-teen and a toddler, I spend most of my life in a confused state. However, about this, there is no confusion. The church gathering needs to be relevant and it needs to be required, by the parents.
Teenagers erode us, often, by beating us relentlessly with the same pleas. Sometimes, we don't even realize we're giving ground, until we look up and realize we are not standing where we once stood. This needs to be an area that we take constant course readings to make sure we're not allowing complacency and despondancy to move us.
Fortunately, my kids love going to our church. I think that is, in large part, due to the fact that the adults there have invested in their lives. They have been more than just a teacher, they have worked to build relationships with them.
Through the youth group, my kids have built relationships with other teenagers, and those relationships are often the draw.
My oldest is involved in ministry, and often gets up before any of the rest of us and catches a ride so he can serve in one gathering and be a part of the community in the 2nd. Does this make him perfect? no! He still struggles with all the things that teens struggle with. But, his involvement gives life to his interest.
I, personally, don't want to be bored in church, or anywhere else. Why would I expect them to be different? So, yes, make it exciting, relevant, unexpected. It will capture the teenagers attention, and mine too!
Hi Cathy.
Your reference to John MacArthur and the essence of your arguments has revealed your true identity!!
However, being relevant in your methodolgy doesn't have to preclude "building up the saints". It's not either/or, it can be - should be both/and.
There is a place for a "hook" - it's the changed lives of believers. That preaches louder and stronger than any expositor can ever do.
I do agree with you, Cathy, that kids aren't too immature to get "it's not about me". In fact, I think teenagers can grasp that far more easily and more powerfully than can adults.
If your church, by whatever style/methodology it uses is reaching the masses with the Gospel and discipling believers then keep it up. Just don't say how your church does it is the only acceptable way in the sight of God. You can't see through His eyes. Neither can I.
I think the discussion in these comments has caused some to misinterpret Andy's original post...I read it a few extra times just to make sure...I agree with Andy's original post.
Just thought I'd throw that out there.
Catherine said,
"Is it a biblical mandate to go to church--or not? I believe that it is, so if it's "stodgy," is that an excuse not to go? What you're saying, it seems to me, is that the Church should tailor the way they teach to students who don't not want to listen to a "lecture" for 45 minutes. Really? Is that a Scriptural position?
I'd love to hear a Biblical worldview from ADD Youth Pastor that instructs pastors/teachers to make it fun and entertaining to go to church. It is the job of the Church to bring the Word and the whole counsel of God."
Since you opened the door, I'll step through it.
How about Paul's? 1 Cor. 9:19-23.
(And if the responsive argument is "that's about evangelism, not church", then aren't you making the assumption that lost people don't come to church? Paul didn't make that assumption. Read 1 Cor. 14:23.
And what about Jesus? Did He really come to heal a few lepers, blind, deaf? Did He really come to feed big crowds lunch? Did He really come to raise a few people from the dead or turn water into wine?
In His words He came "to seek and save those who were lost". So why the healings? Why the food and wine?
Jesus knew that you meet people where they are. If they're hungry, you feed them. If they're thirsty you give them a drink. If they're naked you clothe them. If they're in prison you visit them...
Did He compromise His message? Never. Did He use a "hook". Absolutely. To say "It is the Spirit of God--alone--that works in the heart." is to presuppose that the Spirit of God is limited in what He can use to work in someone's heart, like it's purely a mystical thing; that He can't use technology, as someone suggested would be effective in drawing youth. He can use whatever He chooses (outside of sin) because He is God!
And I think that's at the heart of Andy's post. If youth ministry only exists for the children of believers then that church is missing the second side of the church's coin.
Build the saints. Just don't forget to reach the aint's. Apples and oranges.
Right on, Rick. I was thinking in that vein, that certainly Jesus himself used parables and miracles to reach and relate to unbelievers. Compromise the gospel message? No. But "hook" the lost so they could understand His heart and place faith in Him? Absolutely.
Old folks but especially young ones.
I know that God doesn't have limitations. He has unlimited resources and power and He uses what He wants. He can use people, technology, and any other method He wants to draw hearts to Himself. My statement that it is the work of the Holy Spirit to draw hearts, was in response to the statement that "the problem lies in the church service," per ADD Youth Pastor. You can give anyone anything they want--even football--and if the Spirit isn't moving, then it won't matter what you do.
I didn't say church should be "boring." That's a leap, particularly considering that I said that the pastor should be prepared--and not slipshod.
Please don't misrepresent what I said. I am intimating that I have the answers, nor am I implying that ANY church has a handle on it. But, I think the use of Ephesians 4 says it plainly (see Andy's comment)...that the Church is for the building up of the saints. How else can you read that?
Thanks for the thoughtful post and responses. I will check out now and listen.
uhhhh....I didn't say students were too immature, I said "most". And I think I have evidence to that. In the 15 years of working with students I can think of about 15 or so students who were really spiritually mature. Misha concurred with me on that last night. So if you look at the amount of students I've worked with and can only come up with about 15 names, I think my "most" statement is very accurate.
I've had students from local churches tell me that their Sunday morning worship services are extremely boring and filled with "old people". So what do we do to attract students? Did Jesus have a "hook"? I think so, he could do some pretty incredible miracles and healing. People came to Jesus looking, seeking. The same thing should be happen in our churches today. I bet Jesus wasn't boring. :)
We can teach the whole counsel of God's Word without being boring. At youth group our worship time is interactive, students participate rather than just sit there. Students get to discuss and answer questions together in small groups at tables. Boring can come from no guidance in application.
Shepherds always carry a hook with them to catch the strays.
I don't want to be redundant, but, again, my comments never indicated that church should be "boring." Isn't it about discipline, too? When the Spirit of God is enlightening the heart, even if the message is "boring," then we can get something out of the message. Kids think lots of things are boring. My daughter is currently playing basketball on her school team. The practices are tedious, and she finds them less than exciting. Do we eliminate practice, and go right to the games? Of course not. Should the coach try to make it "creative and exciting?" Well, to some degree, you do what you can to make it profitable, but, sometimes, drills are downright "boring."
I'm reading through the Bible this year. It is easy to get bogged down with books like Daniel and Zephaniah, but how would you respond to a student who tells you the Bible is "boring?" Admittedly, the reading can be dry, but that doesn't mean we skip books like the prophetic ones and just stick to the New Testament. We all have a personal responsiblity for the light we've been shown.
That's my take on it. I think I've said enough. Thanks for the opportunity to answer the question you posed.
So is the church's only purpose "building up the saints"? Is Eph. 4 the only benchmark for a church?
Does the church have also a responsibility to accomplish evangelism?
There has to be a healthy balance between the two. Without that balance you end up with either a church slam packed with note takers who never reach out to their lost friends (and those kinds of churches do attract the masses of the converted and preach to the choir); or a church that is full of infant believers who remain that way and never mature.
Again, it's not either/or. Its both/and.
I think this discussion has become a dead horse...
I asked my 15 year old daughter last night why she loves our church, youth pastor, meeting on Sundays, yada yada.
She said "first, I love Jesus. Second, you make me go. Third, Our pastor is HILARIOUS and gives us the Word in a relevent way that we can actually use out here in the real world. PB (the youth pastor) does the same thing. Fourth, all of our congregation really seem to love me and care about what happens to me in eternity. I feel like I have 25 moms!"
Sometimes I think we just need to check in with kids of "successful" churches and simply ask them what they think about why it is working.
Thanks for all the dialog....very thought provoking.
@Lee
Excellent comment. Thanks for posting it. Your daughter's answer is great.
1. Relationship with Jesus
2. Required by parents (parental influence)
3. Relevant teaching of the Word
4. Relationship with other caring adults in the church
Great Stuff!
yall have worn me slam out!
Post a Comment