Wednesday, February 18, 2009

I always wanted a daughter.  Now that I have one . . .

I'm also thinking about her teenage years and those boys that will come callin. . .

Got any good captions for this one?
(this picture is meant to be humorous.  Andy does not in any way condone violence or the use of firearms other than shooting a tasty critter, or protecting the home)

15 comments:

Sallie said...

My hubby says he's going to show the boys all his guns as soon as they get there to pick up our daughter! I'm sure the mounted turkey in the corner will be a good warning too. hahahaha. I'm personally already losing sleep just thinking about a teenage girl in the house!

Colston said...

Just reminds me of every other country song on the radio...

marcia said...

Oh, she is beautiful! Better keep that gun all polished up and ready to go! But you might need it for Fred, too! As you probably know very well, it isn't just the boys who come calling anymore!

Susan said...

She's absolutely beautiful!!

Michelle Jamie said...

I hope I look mean enough because I don't really know how to use this...see my finger is not even on the trigger!!

Andy Lawrenson said...

@michelle Jamie - never put the finger on the trigger unless you intend to use it :)

Erin said...

Have you ever heard Bill Engvall's routine about his teenage daughter and dating? He pulls the boy in close and says "Now just remember...I'm not afraid to go back to prison."

Michelle Jamie said...

@Andy - now I know why God has given us only boys. Could you just imagine us with a gun!!

Andy Lawrenson said...

@michelle jamie - you obviously like to shoot :)

Jodi said...

Do you know that my brother is a nav in the Air Force?

He said, when my daughter was born, "They might be able to outrun a shotgun, but they can't outrun a jet!"

Your picture reminded me of that...thanks for the smile.

ZazFamily said...

"i'll be rding in the back seat, me and my remington".....

Terry Gray Sr. said...

Why is the gun soooo big?.....or is it the other way around? Are you really that little? Leads me to think the caption should be something like; "It may knock me down.....but you outta see what it'll do to you!

Florida_Mom said...

This might come in handy

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, history, lineage, recent FBI background check, psychiatric evaluation, and updated medical report from your doctor.

1. NAME _______________________________
DATE OF BIRTH ________________
2. HEIGHT ______________
WEIGHT __________
I.Q _______
G.P.A.____________
3. SOCIAL SECURITY # _____________
DRIVERS LICENSE # __________________
4. BOY SCOUT RANK______________________________________
5. HOME ADDRESS _____________________________________
CITY/STATE ___________
ZIP __________
6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent? _____
If No, EXPLAIN ________________________________________
7. Number of years your parents have been married _____
8. Do you own a van? _____ A truck with oversized tires? _____ A waterbed? _____
Do you have an earring, nose ring, belly button ring, or a tattoo? _____
(If "yes" to any of #8, discontinue application and leave premises)

9. In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?


10. In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?


11. In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?


12. Church you attend ___________________________
How often do you attend? ________________________
13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother and priest/rabbi/minister?____________________________

14. Answer by filling in the blank: please answer freely. ALL answers are confidential (That means I won't tell anyone-ever-I promise.)

a) If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded is____
b) If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my____
c) A woman's place is in the____
d) The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is____
e) When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is____

(NOTE: If your answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue. Leave premises keeping your head low. Running in a serpentine fashion is advised.)
15. What do you want to be IF you grow up?___________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, AND RED HOT POKERS.
________________________________________
Signature (That means sign your name)

Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be notified in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write. If you do attempt any communication before your application is approved, automatic disqualification will result.

If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties and carrying violin cases (You might want to watch your back).

Do you still want to date my daughter?
_____ Yes, please accept my application
_____ I um, no, I uh, think I have the wrong house...

Michelle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Michelle said...

Here's a caption idea..."Guns don't kill people, Dad's with pretty daughters do."

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