What was she thinking?

Recently in the news there was the story of the young teenage girl that committed suicide as a result of an online relationship with a boy. Later it was found out that the "boy" was the girl next door's mother. She was attempting to find out what the neighbor girl was saying about her daughter, the two girls had a falling out. What was mom thinking? Only the mom knows. She may have started out to innocently (deceptively) find out what was being said about her daughter. This mother took this opportunity to make this young girl feel horrible about herself to the point that the girl took her own life. This mom that was supposed to be the adult behaved like a middle school girl!

A few thoughts roll though my mind:

1. The Uncle Ricco Syndrome. We know of Uncle Ricco from Napoleon Dynamite. Uncle Ricco was stuck in his teen years, "I could have taken state". He was fixated on his high school football career and could not let his past go, "If only the coach would have put me in...".

Parents often bring baggage from their own childhood into their parenting style. We probably have all witnessed parents living their lives vicariously through the lives of their child. The dad that forces his son to play a sport that the boy really isn't interested in, not for the health benefits but because dad was an athlete when he was a kid (most of the time not really a successful athlete so he pushes his son to be a successful athlete). The mom that pushes her daughter to have a boyfriend, mom struggled with boyfriend issues as a child and that's where she found her "self worth" as a girl. The parent that pushes their child that is an average students to make straight A's no matter the emotional or physical toll it takes on the child because the parent was a "genius" as a child. The parent who lets their kid live "do their own thing" because the parent's parents were super strict (beyond reason) or they are super strict because their parents were not (no balance).

2. Parents need to know what their child is doing online. While the internet is a great tool and helpful to society it also comes with great dangers. Watch the news this week and more than likely you will see a story about a cyber stalker, twisted minds using the internet to stalk, rape and even kill. Know what your child is doing online, take advantage of some of the software available for keeping tabs on what your child is doing online. Put the computer in the family room never in the child's room. Most of the time when you hear news stories about an internet crime against a child the parent was clueless as to what their child was doing online.
Not to mention children can view something online that will be stuck in their minds and possibly lead into a dangerous addiction that could destroy their life.

3. Use relationship conflicts as an opportunity to teach your child how to deal with others in life. Apparently this mother never learned how to properly resolve conflict with others. In life we are going to have conflict with others. As parents we need to teach our children how to get along with others which includes resolving conflict. What do our kids see when we as parents have a conflict with another adult? More is caught than taught.

4. Know the warning signs of teen suicide:

Threatening to hurt or kill oneself, or talking about wanting to hurt or kill oneself.
Looking for ways to kill themselves by seeking firearms, available pills, or other means.
Talking or writing about death, dying, or suicide.
Feeling hopeless.
Feeling rage or uncontrolled anger or seeking revenge.
Acting reckless or engaging in risky activities, seemingly without thinking.
Feeling trapped -- like there's no way out.
Increasing alcohol or drug use.
Withdrawing from friends, family, and society.
Feeling anxious, agitated, or unable to sleep, or sleeping all the time.
Experiencing dramatic mood changes.
Seeing no reason for living or having no sense of purpose in life.

5. Pray for wisdom as a parent.

It is sad when we hear news of something that could have been avoided.