When a Leader Falls

Over the past several years the marriages of several couples who I looked up to and respected have come to an end. I know of only two who saved their marriages by offering forgiveness, grace and mercy. I have also experienced some of the leaders I looked up to, some I knew personally, make huge mistakes (sins), big enough to pull them out of their leadership roles.

Today I have a heavy heart and am burdened. I'm tired of watching my friends drop like flies. I'm sick of the enemies victory in their marriages and their lives. I needed some good reminders so I dug up an article I wrote a few years ago. If you have a heavy heart perhaps you will find some good reminders here:

When a Leader Falls

It seems more and more we here of spiritual leaders falling morally. In the time we live in news travels fast. Maybe there aren’t more leaders falling, maybe we hear about it because we live in the “information age”.

Devastation, heart break, disappointment, sorrow, grieving, disillusioned, faith shaking, these are some of the emotions and feelings we may experience when someone we look up to as a spiritual leader falls morally. How do we respond to these situations? What do we do? How do we treat the leader who has fallen? What do we do with what he or she has taught us? How do we filter through the feelings and emotions?

The first thing we must do is go to God’s Word. The Bible has to be the foundation for every situation we face in life. His Word is where our roots should run deep. What does the Bible have to say?

• Everyone sins
Romans 3:23
for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God
As believers we must remember that every one of us has sinned. Not only have we sinned in the past we will also sin again. There was only one who lived a perfect life and He was the Son of God. The danger we fall into as Christians is that we often put spiritual leaders we look up to on a pedestal; we almost take their humanness away from them. Spiritual leaders, no matter how “great” they may be, still sin. So the fact that a leader sins shouldn’t shock us, it should grieve us just as we should be grieved when we sin.

• Sin traps and destroys
Ephesians 4:27
and do not give the devil a foothold.

Being tempted is not a sin but giving into the temptation is. When a believer gives into temptation he has opened the door for Satan to get a grip on an area in his life. No Christian is above this taking place in his life. That is why it is so important that we guard our hearts, minds and lives. Believers are human and humans are tempted and sadly, humans sin. Sin can trap a believer; certain sins can easily become habitual sins in the life of a believer.

I Peter 5:8
Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour

The devil isn’t prowling around looking to destroy the lives of unbelievers; he already has them in his grip. Satan’s goal is to destroy our lives. In doing so he destroys our testimonies and the impact we can have on others. Public sin has a far ranging impact and affect on those around us.

As we put spiritual leaders up on a pedestal, we forget that they are human just like us. We forget that Satan is out to get a foothold in their lives and destroy them as well. They are not super heroes that are not influenced by the devil’s tempting. They can be trapped and destroyed just as easily as any believer. If the devil tempted Jesus Christ, the Son of God, why wouldn’t he tempt spiritual leaders today?

Psalms 7:15
He who digs a hole and scoops it out falls into the pit he has made.

• Confession and Repentance are vital to restoration
I John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Our prayer should be that when a spiritual leader sins that the leader would go to God first and confess his sin and repent. To confess is to agree with God that sin committed is indeed a sin. To repent is to turn away from the sin. If the sin was one that is made public or becomes known publicly he should also confess to his brothers and sisters in the Lord, to openly confess. This open confession is evidence that indeed the leader has come under the conviction of the Holy Spirit and can help heal any wounds caused by the sin. No Christian can be in a right relationship with God unless there has been confession and repentance.

2 Corinthians 7:9
yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us.

• God’s Word is still God’s Word

“If this spiritual leader that I looked up to falls morally how can I believe anything that the leader has taught me?”
It boils down to this: Even though the leader may have messed up, God’s Word is still God’s Word. God’s Word is unchanging. The leader’s message is validated by whether or not it comes from the Bible. If the message is from God’s Word then truth is taught. If God can speak through a donkey He can certainly deliver His message through an imperfect leader.

Isaiah 55:11
so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

Numbers 22:29
Then the LORD opened the donkey’s mouth, and she asked Balaam, “What have I done to you that you have beaten me these three times?”

Psalms 33:4
For the word of the LORD is right and true; he is faithful in all he does.

• Focus on Christ not on Man
As Christians we are disciples, followers of Christ. As children we played the game “follow the leader”. In this game you needed to keep your focus on the leader and not on the person in front of you. Your goal was to copy the leader. As followers of Christ, He is our leader, the one on whom we should put our focus. Jesus Christ will never let us down. It is impossible for Jesus to fail. When we focus on man we will be constantly let down because man is imperfect. We look up to spiritual leaders but ultimately we need to focus more on Christ than the spiritual leader. Spiritual leaders who are following Christ would tell you to not focus on them but to focus on Christ.

Most Christians have had a spiritual leader who has made a significant impact or influence on their life. This impact or influence is the result of God’s work - God’s Word, using the leader. When a leader falls it doesn’t negate or cancel out the commitment or decision made in the Christian’s life. The commitment was made with God and not with the leader.

Challenging Ideas Part 1

Last Friday I attended the Whiteboards with the staff from NHC. The whole purpose was to get some fresh and challenging ideas from church leaders. Here are some of the things that I wrote down from the different speakers:

How to make sure that what we do matters - Jonathon Falwell
I Peter 5 - Pride and Grace
>Be Who You Are. Don't be busy trying to wear someone else's armor (reference to David an Goliath) Know who you are and accept who you are and be who you are.
>Be What You Are. As a minister of grace you cannot fail. God never calls you to do something that he doesn't equip you to be successful.
>Pride and grace can never co-exist.
>Pride and organizational ministry will stifle your ministry.
> I Peter 5:10. It's going to be tough.

Impact Outer Banks

Registration deadline is June 1st.

Using Facebook Event to Promote "The F Word" series

I often use the events to promote events with the students. This week I set up an event for The F Word series we are launching Sunday. We already have a couple guys who have RSVP'd that they are attending the event who don't come to Contagious. Hopefully our students will take advantage of the "invite" feature to invite their friends to youth group. It is funny looking at my "home" page and seeing students status updates includeing "attending The F Word". Hopefully this draws some attention.

Interesting Article on Facebook Security

Sunday night I begin our Facebook series "The F Word".

Interesting article here about the security of Facebook.  Parent you may want to take a look.  Another great reason to monitor your child's activity on Facebook.  Know their password and login info?  You need to.  Know if their FB friends are real or not?  You need to take a look.

Is the Addyouthpastor anti-Facebook?  Absolutely not, I use it every day.

Facebook Series

This Sunday we launch a series about Facebook. I'm excited about this series for a few reasons. I've noticed many of our "church" kids using language on Facebook that they wouldn't dare use at church. I'm hoping they discover that we should live everyday as worship to God, the church is not the building but it is the believers who make up the church. Some of the principles we will be teaching in the series: You are Who You Associate With, You are What You Type, You are Under Other's Microscopes.

For the first time the Parent Pod will be joining us. They will sit in on the lesson and then as our students gather in their Pods to discuss the lesson the parents will be gathering together to discuss together as well. I'm hoping this sparks some good conversations and communication in homes.

I'm all the way through lesson 1 and have also written up the Pod and Parent Pod discussion sheets. This week I'll be including in the parent update e-mail some verses for them to read with their kids together as a family and start to get the gears turning before Sunday.

Discipleship - Connection (Part 2)

Find Part 1 Here.

Our connection to God should naturally lead us to be connected with other believers in a local body of believers, the church. (1 Corinthians 12) As we study the New Testament church we find that gathering together with other believers was a priority. (Acts 2) How do we teach our children that this connection to other believers is part of being a follower of Christ?

• Set the example. Much of our life is intertwined with other believers, our church. Both Mish and I are involved in Connection groups where we meet weekly to connect with others from the church. We are connected through serving with others in the church.

• The Church is a Priority - In our home church attendance isn't optional. It is a priority in our home just as it was with the early church in Acts 2 (they met daily so perhaps not as much as them). Our children will grow up knowing that involvement with and in the church is not an option but a priority. This is how I grew up. Sleeping in on Sunday morning wasn't a choice in our family growing up. I was forced to go to church my whole life. Guess where I am at every Sunday morning? Why? I was taught connection with the church is vital to spiritual health and growth. I was required to go to church but at the same time taught the reason why I should be involved in the church.
  

• Fellowship with other believers is important. Why? We belong to each other. Romans 12:5 There is a connection to each other. Christ died for you and Christ died for me. Our connection came at the high price of redemption. The church is where we find our "belonging". Life as a believer is meant to be lived out in fellowship with other believers. My desire is for my children to realize that their family is more than just their physical family. Their family is much larger because the church is their family as well.

My prayer is that our children, as they grow, will connect first with God through a relationship with Jesus Christ. Second I pray that they will learn by our example and teaching as their parents the importance of being connected with a local body of believers. Not just be church attenders but to live our life in fellowship with the church.

Discipleship - Connecting (part 1)

As a dad one the thing I hope most for is that my children will be connected. No one is meant to live this life alone and to attempt to do so is utter foolishness. We need each other because that is the way God designed us.

First I want to see my children connected to God. How will they learn about the most important connection in life? (John 14:6)

• Modeled in my life - Do they see in me that a relationship with God is important? I must display through my life that I have an ongoing and growing relationship with him. One of my memories as a child is of my dad sitting down in a chair with his Bible and a legal pad reading God's Word and taking notes. He showed me that his relationship with God was serious to him. This is teaching by example.

• Placed in the right environment - I think that hauling our three young'uns to church every Sunday morning is the beginning of teaching them the importance of this relationship. During the week we are planting lessons about God in their lives. Sunday at Kids' Zone what they are learning is being watered and fertilized to help them grow in God. There is a reinforcement there at church in what they are learning at home. This is a priority in our family. Disciple your kids at home, don't be dependent on the church to do this for you.
  

• Focusing their minds - each night when our three children are prayed with before we go to bed. Not the scary prayer "Now I lay me down to sleep . . . " type of prayer (scary? Yes! "If I should die before I wake". In my mind I hear it in the voice of Vincent Price) I pray with my oldest son that God would grow him to know God and to live for God above all else. The prayer with the baby twins is shorter but includes God's protection and direction in their lives. They are learning at 15 months old the importance of talking to God and that communication is vital in connection. They don't grasp the concept but they are learning. My children will grow up with this as a part of normal every day life effecting their life now and in the future.
  

Do You Know Him?

Discipleship of Our Kids

Deuteronomy 6 is clear that the discipleship of our children is our responsibility as parents. So over the next few weeks I'm going to blog about discipleship. I believe that to be spiritually healthy I must be spiritually balanced. Same goes with my children as I "train them up". So much of my posting will be from a dad's point of view. Some of the areas of discipleship that I will post about are:

• Sharing faith
• Spiritual disciplines
• Serving the body of Christ
• Fellowship with the church
• Worshipping God in life

Questions I will look at:

• Do I teach by my example?
• What is our family's priority?
• What does the Bible teach about fellowship?
• What effect will this have on my grandchildren?

We all teach by our example that is why how we out live life is so important.
My family has priorities. What are they? Have I listed them out? How we spend our time and money as a family is a good reflection of our priorities. If we are going to teach our kids to follow Christ then the Bible is the best place to start. How we parent and disciple our own children will have a direct effect on how they disciple and parent their children. So what we do today, as a parent, has an impact on our family for generations to come. No pressure there, huh?

I will wrap up each post by stepping out of the role of dad and putting on the hat of youth pastor and weighing in as a fellow youth leader in the trenches.

Hopefully this will be a helpful little journey for some, mainly me.

Youth Group Now Owns Property in Nepal

Not really! BUT ten of our students rocked in rocking chairs last Friday night from 7pm till 7am to raise money to help an orphanage in Nepal that Tammy Stump, partner at NHC, is helping to build. She is literally going to make the bricks to build the buildings as well as purchase the land and all involved to help these children.

We survived the rock-a-thon by drinking slushies all night, mango/orange spiked with Red Bull. I had at least 15!!

I'm stoked that these 10 students could see how they could do mission work without leaving home or even their rocking chair. The children who live in this orphanage are about to experience a move to a much better setting, out of the big city and to a small village. Our ten students got some hands on mission experience. I pray that the rock-a-thon was more than just a fun night for them and a glimpse at the difference that they can make in another human's life.

Here is a pic of the land!