Expanding the Net

Territorial youth ministry can stand in the way of reaching the youth of a community.  There is no way one church, one youth group, one youth pastor can effectively reach an entire community of youth.  There exists the danger of a youth pastor or youth ministry becoming territorial.  I know that in our own youth ministry we want to reach as many students as we possibly can but we also realize that there are other churches and other youth groups who will reach students we can't and won't reach.

When I first started out in youth ministry I was blessed to serve in a town with several youth pastors who had a spirit of unity, we worked together to reach the youth of that community.  While our churches were different and we had our differences we agreed to work together on our priority which was to see students come to know Jesus Christ as their Savior.  That network of youth pastors and the churches we were part of grew to the point that we were able to open a youth center to be used to reach students.

Here on the Outer Banks I'm able to participate in another network of youth ministers.  A few years ago we formed the Outer Banks Youth Ministry Network.  This network is made up of youth ministers from Methodist, Presbyterian, Non-Denominational and Southern Baptist churches.  It has been a blessing to be able to sit down the second Tuesday of each month at a table of youth pastors and pray together, hear a devotional and share ideas.  Our goal is to network together to reach students. 

A few things I have learned in setting up a network:

1.  Know your purpose as a network.

2.  Be clear about why the network exists.

3.  Decide when and where to meet. (don't let it look anything like a business or committee meeting)

4.  Clarify how the network will work together.

5.  Have a person on point.

6.  Invite community churches to participate.

If there is a youth ministry network in your community I would encourage you to get involved. If your community doesn't have a network I would encourage you to gather some youth leaders together and form your own network.  It is a great to be able to get together with other like-minded youth leaders and pick each other's brains and encourage one another.

Potential Ministry Tool

Google is coming out with Google Voice. It should be up and running for the general public in several weeks. This is a free phone service that is web based and you get one phone number and can connect all your phones to that one number and decide which phone you want to take the call on. No more will you have to have three or 4 phone numbers. You can also pick up your voice mail messages in text form.

I'm trying to think of ways to use this as a ministry tool:
> The first thought I have is getting a number and using it as a youth group info line. Students and parents can call and get updates since google voice has voice mail. Let students record the message.
>Update parents from camp or mission trips using the number.
>Running late returning from an event? Place a message on the google voice number and parents can check to see what time you will be returning to the church.
>The simple convenience of having one number so no matter what phone I'm near I can catch the call.

Parents could have one number that their teen could call and reach them whether they are at home, work,  or in the car.

How do you think you could use Google Voice in youth ministry?

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Great Article for Ministry Leadership

Take some time to read this, it is good stuff.

Circumcision

Teaching about circumcision? This may help.


Rob Banister Report - Circumcision from travis hawkins on Vimeo.

Text Me

"Back in my day. . ."  This is how you know you are old when you use lines like that.  OR "kids today . . ." .    

Cell phones, didn't have them when I was in youth group.  When I went to youth group or a youth activity I had a choice to make, join in on the fun, make connections with other students or go sit by myself in a corner.  Today students can make the choice to join in on the fun, make connections with other students or they can go off in the corner and talk or text on their cell phone.  Cell phones create a barrier for students to connect with other live and in person students at youth group.    We had a new girl visit youth group last summer.  She came with her phone on her ear and it stayed on her ear almost the entire time.  Students approached her to welcome her only to get the cold shoulder.  She didn't want to be there and was using her phone as the barrier. 

This problem would be the equivalent of you inviting me to your house for dinner and an evening of hanging out together and I show up with my lap top and I open the lap top and ignore you the entire time.  Pretty much a rude act.

Most youth groups have some sort of cell phone policy.  We don't allow them on trips.  If a student needs to call home we have enough adults available with phones.  I've even heard the "I won't call anyone but am using it as my alarm clock" excuse.  Guess what?  They make a cool little item called a digital alarm clock.  We want to remove the barrier.  Did once have a student borrow an adult leader's phone to call her mom.  She talked to mom for over a half hour.  That seemed a bit weird to me.  The adult leader hit redial and the girl's boyfriend answered the phone.  Remove the barrier.  At our weekly youth group gathering students can bring their phone but they are not supposed to use it to make calls or text unless it is to call or text parents or to call and invite a friend to youth group.  

We understand that cell phones are a part of life in our world today.  I don't leave home without mine.   We also understand that cell phones can get in the way of the bigger picture.  Students should be forming relationships and connections with other students while at youth group, that is what fellowship is about.  Relationships are what keep students coming back to youth group, not the cool and hip youth pastor, not the bag of chips and junk food.  We were meant to live life together.  Cell phones have their place but can be a barrier to fellowship.

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Flip Cartoon from Student Life on Vimeo.

Sexting

Would George Michael produce a new song, "I want your sext" if he were still crankin out the tunes today?

Teenager Reina Hardesty sent over 14,258 texts in one month.  Her dad's cell phone bill was 440 pages long.  That is one text every two waking minutes.  A ninth grader, Emilee Cox, sent an average of 30,000 texts per month!  I think there may be some who are obsessed with a constant communication with their friends.  There is a danger because technology can become addictive. Just asked the folks who spend their entire waking moments on the internet.  People are addicted to facebook, twitter, I use both but I'm not constantly "online" using these services.

I witnessed a boy arguing with his dad in the cell phone store.  He was trying to convince his dad to buy him the much more expensive phone because it had the handy slide out keyboard for texting.  I even heard, "this is what all my friends have."  Dad gave in because he wanted Jr. to be like his friends.

I know a girl who was sleeping with her phone on vibrate under her pillow and would text during the night.  Her friend might text her at 2am and she would wake up and reply to the text.  Then the next day wonder why she was so tired.  

I have watched students sitting in a van full of students in their own world texting friends rather than conversing with the friends they were in the van with.

I'll admit that I would text more if I had a cell phone plan that included unlimited texting.  But I don't think I would be addicted to texting.  

Now we have the new texting danger.  Students are "Sexting" and sending inappropriate messages and even nude pictures of themselves.  One out of five (22%) teenage girls has posted or electronically sent nude or semi-nude photos of themselves.  One third of teenage boys say that they have had racy images sent to them.  Nearly a quarter of teenagers in the TRU study said that their electronic "sexting" makes them more aggressive in their real sexual behaviors.

I love the rent-a-car commercial where the mom admits to reading her daughter's texts on her phone and then quickly changes the subject.  

Parents, when was the last time you sat down with your teen and explained what you expect from them when it comes to using their cell phone and why?

Youth leaders, what are you doing to help parents learn more about the potential damage and danger that exists in the seemingly harmless world of cell phones?

The stats and some of the examples in this post come from Group magazine's March/April issue on page 20.

Interesting Article

Christian Chameleons

In fact, according to a Gallup Youth Survey on the subject, 86% of unchurched teens approve of couples living together prior to marriage.

"Fix my Kid!"

A question from a comment on a previous post:

"Another thing Andy is parents who feel that is it my job to make their kid better. 
THis is a little different issue than what you posted about. However, they seem to be someone what related issues. 
I love these students with all my heart but I cannot change anyone! ALl I can do is present God's Word and encourage them to do what is right. I can be there for them however, I have already found that when I spend a lot of one on one time with someone I am cheating the whole... 
So I guess my question to you is where is the balance? How do I handle parents who think I have failed and that its because I haven’t spent enough time with them that their child is so messed up. How do I balance trying to help students one on one and yet not cheat other students? I cannot spend one on one time with all of them. We don’t have a large ministry however it’s too big to spend time with everyone. Where is the balance?"

1.   It is humanly impossible to make someone better. 
We can’t force someone to improve.  We can’t force a person to not sin.  We are individuals and we are individually responsible to God for our lives.  “You can lead a horse to water . . .”

 

2.   No student is messed up because a youth pastor didn’t spend enough time with him or her.
I found out years later that the parents of a young man blamed me for not reaching out to their teenage son while I was their youth pastor.  Apparently they didn’t realize the at least six visits to their son at their house was “reaching out”.  I quit going to the house when I realized his parents weren’t going to anything about him not coming to youth group, even though they said they were “very” concerned. 

 

The questions should be:
“How much time as parent do you spend with your teen discipling and teaching him about God and His Word?”
Could the child be messed up from their upbringing and his parent’s parenting skills or lack of parental involvement?
Could the child be messed up because he has never trusted Jesus as his Savior so his heart is unrepentant and bent towards sin?

 

The Bible is very clear that it is the parent’s responsibility to teach their child about God.  Perhaps a youth pastor would have more time to invest into the lives of student’s who have lost and un-churched parents if he wasn’t expected to spoon feed another believer’s child?

 

Best thing a youth pastor could do is point parents in the direction of resources to use with their children.

 

3.   How do I balance?
This is why a youth ministry team is vital, not adults standing around as chaperones but adults involved in the lives of students.  Jesus had 12 disciples in whom he invested; even in that 12 there were only a few that he really spent alone time with.  Why would a youth pastor be expected to do more than Christ by parents, the church, or an unrealistic lead pastor?

 

If a youth group has more than a handful of students the need exists to have other adults involved in the lives of students.  (Even if there are just a few students there should be another adult always present for legal reasons)  Adults who know the student by name, have met their parents, communicate with the student during the week outside of youth group, show up to their ball games, pray with them and for them.  Let’s be honest, there are some youth ministers that feel threatened by this team idea because they risk the student’s loving their adult leader more than the youth pastor.

 

Balance is found by building a team of youth ministers.  This takes time and it also takes church members who see the value of team ministry.  The lead pastor’s support in building a team is also super helpful to the youth pastor.

 

Simple answer:  You can’t balance a bunch of students, if you try, many will slip through the cracks and you need parental involvement in being the discipler to their teen.

 

Tait now a Newsboy

I'm a little slow in things since we don't have a Christian music station here on the OBX.  My lovely spouse informed of this news.  She heard it on XM while at work.

Former DC talk member, Michael Tait, is now the lead singer for Newsboys.