Critics (Part 3)

Here is the deal, the truth. Websites and blogs, authored by "Christians", that attack other believers and churches is essentially the body of Christ turning on itself, the church attacking the church. When the body attacks itself it is essentially a form of spiritual cancer. This is why I call it Cyber Gossip. Gossip, whether true or false or disguised as a prayer request, is talking or writing or blogging about someone else without them present. Gossip is a sin. I learned a song when I was a kid in Sunday School, "Oh be careful little eyes what you see..."

Come to me to talk about someone behind his or her back, especially in a negative, critical spirit and I would tell you to your face, "Don't gossip. Go talk to this person face to face". These critics today would write negatively about Peter and John without ever speaking to them in person. Their response would probably be, "I can't get a meeting with Peter and John." Exactly the point!

Your job, my job, as believers is not to run around playing the role of deputy Holy Spirit. I'm not the one who will judge. God is the almighty God and the church, the Body of Christ, belongs to him so let Him do the judging. Let God fix the "problem". There are churches in our community that I disagree with in some areas and would even think they are wrong doctrinally but it's not my place to post a blog or web site devoted to tearing their church down. Peter and John were appointed by God to be apostles and if someone has been put in a place of leadership in the church I better not be attacking them. (2 Kings2:23-25)

Critics (Part 2)

It's a shame but in this age we live in with the technology we have the Internet has become an avenue for what I call, "Cyber Gossip". It is super easy to find hundreds if not thousands of web sites and blogs that are dedicated to pointing out the wrongs (or what is perceived as wrong by the authors) of other believers and churches. Websites and blogs litter the WWW and all they are known for is what they are "against" and not known for what they are "for".

Peter and John would be plastered on those sites today. Why? First of all they met a man's need but without first telling him he was a sinner in need of repentance. There are many believers out there today that are all about the "preaching" but want to do nothing about meeting the physical need first. Meeting the need opens the door to the gospel and a simple study in the life of Christ proves this point. Second, thousands became Christ followers after hearing their message so there must be something wrong with that. Thousands don't come to Christ at one time. What was really going on? I don't know if you want to call it a distrust or jealousy/envy but some believers just can't handle it when a church or pastor is being obedient to Christ and the church is growing and maturing and healthy.

Critics (Part 1)

I've recently started reading in Acts for my daily quiet time. In chapter 3 Peter and John encounter the man who had been crippled for forty years. The cripple man was begging for money, this is how he survived. Peter and John have no money to give him but they meet his greatest need, they bring healing from God to this man's life.

Next we find them preaching about Jesus Christ. As the result of the people witnessing this need being met in this man's life and through hearing about Jesus Christ 5,000 men become Christ followers and that's not including the women and children saved that day.

As I thought about this event in the life of a crippled beggar and thousands who came to know Christ I wondered what would be the response from the church today if this happened, December 9, 2010?

Organizing Takes Time

Organizing takes time but it takes even longer if you don't keep things organized. I'm not a neat freak and this is evidenced in my office. I have always filed away documents on my computer with no rhyme or reason. The result is a constant searching for documents and graphics, etc.

Today I finally came to the point that I realized that as our church grows so does "my documents". So I spent the better part of the afternoon creating nice and neat little blue folders and started moving documents around to their proper folder. Now instead of a jumbled mess there are nice neat rows of folders in my finder. Now when someone says, "I'm interested in joining the youth ministry team I don't have to spend 10 minutes looking for that team handbook and application to e-mail to them, I simply open my finder and click on Team Applications and then send them the proper document.

If I had taken the half a minute to set these folders up as I went along I would not have spent the 3 hours today organizing. My desktop? Glad you asked. It is totally clear and clean.

I feel I can function better now. Okay, next week I'll tackle the office!
What do you do to stay organized?

Contagious Youth Weekend

We had a busy weekend with the youth group this past weekend.  It is important in youth ministry to not do activities simply to fill a calendar with events.  Some churches equate busyness with accomplishing ministry leaving some youth leaders to be basically "cruise directors".  We strive to do activities that have a purpose behind them.  So that's what we did this weekend.  Here is the snapshot:

Saturday morning:  Clean Up  Cost= a box of Dunkin Munchkins

Our youth space at the church building has yet to be completed.  Saturday we blocked off the morning to clean out the room and help prepare for the beginning of construction.  The students showed up in force (around 30) to clean.  What I thought would take all morning was done in an hour and a half!  I shared with the students the picture, from my mind, of what the youth room will be like.  We then talked about the purpose of the room.  It is a space that will be "awesome" for students to bring their friend to.  The students are stoked about the future youth room.

Saturday Evening: Fast Food Progressive Dinner  Cost = $115 budget, $155 from participants.

Everyone received a paper lunch bag with four pieces of paper.  Each piece of paper had a different course of the meal, drink, burger, side, dessert.  Upon arriving at each restaurant they reached in their bag and ordered what they pulled out, so the meal was all mixed up.  (we carried bottled water along so they didn't have to choke down food)  The evening was lots of fun.  We also put a symbol on the bottom of each bag.  Their symbol signified which vehicle they were riding in so the group was mixed up.  The purpose was fellowship, building relationships.  We charged the $5 to participate to help cover the expense of the food.  It averaged about $9 per person.  We didn't limit what they could order.  Side note:  Wendy's was our most expensive stop.  Wendy's and McD's gave me free food.

Sunday Evening:  Operation Turkey in a Box  Cost = $160.00

Church partners donated ten turkeys.  We purchased, from the youth budget, the items a family would need to cook Thanksgiving dinner.  We fed ten families for about $160.00.  The students gathered together with their POD leaders and loaded the boxes and then went out into the community and delivered the meals.  The purpose was mission, sharing the love of Christ with those in need in a practical way.  We also helped a couple families from our church so we also did a little ministry.  This event tied in perfectly with our series at Contagious and Sunday mornings series about loving others.  Some students shared with me their experience delivering and it sounds like it was a good way to remind them to be thankful for what they have.

Prepared for What you Expect? Part 3

The church wants to have a youth involved in their church. They want to see students pouring in the doors. They once had a "part time" youth pastor who saw the group grow to around twenty something students. The church staff committee didn't like the way the youth pastor did his job and that he was only putting in 20 hours a week so they fired him. Now the youth group has shrunk to 6 students and one has to be there because he is the pastor's son. If he had a choice he would go elsewhere and if his dad wouldn't catch heat from the church he would let his son go elsewhere.

Currently the only thing they have to offer is youth Sunday School at 8:45 in the morning. The Sunday School teacher shows up reads from a quarterly without any obvious preparation and then after the class is over the teacher leaves and doesn't attend the worship service (the teacher doesn't like the preacher). Two of the youth attend the Sunday School class, one is there because he has to be. The church keeps telling the students they are going to hire a youth pastor yet have budgeted no funds for a youth pastor or for youth ministry.

Problems? You bet!

• You shouldn't pay "part time" and demand full time work
• You shouldn't fire a youth pastor who is reaching students
• The students feel betrayed by their own church
• The pastor sees the reality but is trapped because he too doesn't want to lose his job
• Don't scratch your head trying to figure out why students won't get out of bed early on a Sunday morning for a boring unprepared lesson
• Sunday School teacher = a church leader who has problems with the pastor and doesn't support her church
• A youth pastor isn't the magic cure for this church's youth ministry

Is there a fix? Can the church prepare for what they expect? Absolutely!

• Be realistic when hiring a youth pastor
• Don't expect full time work at part time pay
  
• Involve the students in the youth pastor search process (that might help towards healing the feeling of betrayal)
• Let the pastor lead in the hiring process and supervision of the youth pastor
• Make sure the pastor has realistic expectations
• Let the SS teacher, who is not really interested in being there, off the hook and don't worry about not having a SS class until you find a replacement. Perhaps let the 2 students attending serve in a children's class during the process
• Help the church to see that bringing in a youth pastor does not equal immediate results (it takes about 5 year or longer to begin to see results)
• Budget. If you are going to hire a youth pastor then budget for a youth pastor and budget enough that he can live on the income. Keep in mind the cost of living in the area
  
• Budget. If you are expecting to have a youth ministry then expect it to cost money. Somewhere between $700 to $1500 per student per year. So if you expect 50 students plan to budget around $35,000 or more
• Remember that a youth pastor is not a cruise ship activity director. There is no sense in filling a calendar full of activities that have no purpose behind them
  
• If the church isn't financially able to hire a youth pastor then pray together that God will raise up someone in the church with a passion to see students radically changed by the gospel who can volunteer to lead

Finally (personal pet peev) make sure to clarify that youth ministry is not the same as children's ministry. I met with a pastor and a volunteer once who were wanting to get something going for their youth and she kept referring to them as the "chillren". I told her that teens don't want the same label as 3rd graders.

Last Sunday at Contagious

The purpose of the night was to empower students to meet their peers in their hurt and to help others rewrite their stories based on how God sees them.

Hang Time was a lot of fun. A few tables of board games going on and some ping pong. Students also gathered in little groups and just hung out talking and visiting with each other. Leaders were all in the mix with the students as well. Hang Time is my favorite time at Contagious.

We started the worship time off with an excellent ice breaker and the PODs had to work together to accomplish 25 tasks on a list. They had a 20 minute time frame to complete the tasks, all of which were fun and goofy. The winning POD received a $50 gift card to Slice Pizza so they can go out to dinner together as a POD.

We showed a clip from the movie, To Save a Life. The whole point of the clip was to help students to see that how we can help someone rewrite their story.

The students followed that video clip up with an interactive experience. They wrote a brief one sentence logline on a piece of paper and taped it on the front of their shirt. On their back they taped a blank paper. The students then mingled together and read each other's loglines. They each chose someone and rewrote their new logline, as God sees them, on their back piece of paper.

Following the experience they gathered in their PODs and read their new logline then discussed them together. We ended the evening with me sharing two stories. One story of Margaret who was an adult woman who had struggled over 40 years with an event that happened to her in school where she was the object of ridicule by her teacher and classmates. Jesus rewrote her story with his love. We looked at a short guy named Zacheus and how God took a guy who's logline was "hated by others" and changed it to "a son of Abraham" the highes compliment a jewish man could receive at the time.

This coming Sunday we take a break from our current series, sort of. We continue to learn about loving others as our students will gather with their PODs and deliver complete (uncooked)Thanksgiving meals to families who will be blessed by the meal. A hands on experience in sharing the love of Christ in a practical way.

What does that say to your community?

I'm excited about Sunday night. It's Halloween and I get to eat cotton candy! But I'm more excited that several years ago we made a change. We used to have the "harvest party" that targeted our church kids and not the community. The event was inward focused. It was our attempt at a safe alternative to trick or treating for our kids. We would have said it was for the community but the attendance proved the opposite.

How do we take an event in the community and use it? We decided that we would do Trunk or Treat. First of all Trunk or Treat required us to move our little "party" out of the safety of the four walls of the church building and into the parking lot where the public could see and not just see but attend. The first year attendance was rather low but was better attended than the harvest party.

Over the years Trunk or Treat has grown. This year we will see thousands come onto our church's property for the event. Hundreds will even funnel into our building for the free food and for their children to play games. Sitting in my office are 1600 gospel tracts to place in the kids' candy bags.

The harvest party catered to the church. Trunk or Treat is for the whole community. The approach on how we treat October 31st changed. NHC took it's eyes off "self" and looked out beyond the four walls.

I've gotten wind of churches who usually have an event "for the community" on October 31st canceling this year because it falls on Sunday. What does that say to the community? I think it is a shame and speaks volumes to the community. Too often we forget that church is not for us, we are the church and the church is for those that need the love of Jesus Christ.

Some churches choose to do nothing on halloween or to continue to do their harvest parties. That's OK. That is up to each individual church. I'm glad that NHC sees this as an opportunity to get the word out to the community through our actions that we love them and care for them and we do so because Jesus loves them and cares for them.

Prepared for What You Expect? Part 2

Situation #2

A family is looking for a church to connect with. They are new to the community and are looking for a church family to grow with as they raise their children. They arrive on Sunday morning. After parking they get out of the car and there is no one to greet them or any signage to point them in the right direction. They see what appears to be the main entrance for the church so they head that direction. When entering the lobby it is obvious the children stay in the worship with their parents as they see children scurrying around the auditorium.

The family receives their bulletin and heads in to find a pew to sit in. It takes a few minutes to find a seat because the church seating is at around 85% capacity. After getting comfortable they look around and assess that there are a lot of children in this church. They are excited about that but also wondering if there a worship service for the children.

Soon the music starts. There is a struggle a time or two as the parents try to keep their kids from bouncing off the pew because they bored. As the worship in music ends the pastor approaches the podium and announces that all the children can go with Miss Nancy to children’s church. The majority of the children stand up and head out of the auditorium with “Miss Nancy”*. Their children want to go but the parents don’t allow them because they don’t know where the children are going and who is working with them.

Worship in an atmosphere with limited distractions is important to this family, as is worship for their children at their children’s level. The music came to a great point for the pastor to deliver the message and then the whole “mood”, if you will, is broken by the interruption and waiting for the children to exit.

At the end of a service where the parents didn’t hear the message the pastor preached because they were trying to keep squirmy active children entertained quietly the parents decide as they leave that this isn’t the church for them. As they exit the building they see the children running around the church lawn and parking lot without adult supervision.

This church wants to reach young families but they are not prepared to do handle what they expect.

Some thoughts to help this church in this situation:

>Have someone in the parking lot pointing parents with small children in the direction they should go with their kids. Have helpful directional signs around the building(s).

>Have a secure check in system so every child is accounted for. Use nametags and have a corresponding security tag for the parents. Even for the regular attendee’s so the guests don’t feel “pointed out”.

>Have parents drop off their child at the door of children’s worship and have parents pick their child up at the same place.

>Train a team of adults to rotate every other Sunday in leading a children’s worship time from start to finish. A place where children go and worship while there parents are in “big church”. This will keep Miss Nancy* from missing the sermon every week. Shoot for a ratio of one adult per six children.

>Go with a “plug and play” curriculum. If reaching families is important to the church then there has to be a financial investment. No “cheap” fixes. Most adults don’t want to lead children’s church because they don’t want to teach or they don’t have the time to prepare the lesson each week. Let’s face it in order to communicate with children and keep their attention you have to be good, really good. Most of us are not at that the level of “really” good. Many with the gift of teaching are more attracted to lecture style, which won’t hold a child’s attention. Children need interaction. The last thing you want is someone who glances at the lesson over their Sunday morning coffee and that is the extent of their prep time. At NHC we use Kidmo and Lil’ K and it works great at teaching Biblical truth to children while holding their attention.

>Do away with the parade. The parade of children leaving the auditorium is for the benefit of the older folks who like to look and smile at all the little children that are in their church. Meanwhile mom and dad would love a break where they can focus their hearts on worship, a time to focus on their own spiritual nourishment so they can be spiritually healthy in leading their family. Maybe even a few minute break before the service begins to have coffee with some other parents. Ask the parents; my bet is they would love to see their children engaged in a worship service that targets their child’s comprehension level. If the older folks want to see all the little children they get in on leading children’s worship or provide a Parent’s Night Out so mom and dad can have a date and invest in their marriage.

The result of these simple changes would speak volumes to the families checking their church out.

Imagine parents dropping their kids off in a kid friendly environment where children are playing games, singing, learning a lesson about God.

Imagine groups of parents standing around before the service with a cup of coffee and talking together and building those important relationships that act as a glue to keep them connected to their church.

Imagine mom and dad sitting in the auditorium worshipping without distraction. Their hearts and minds focused on praising and worshipping God and learning from His Word.

Imagine mom and dad picking up their children and receiving a worksheet to do at home with their child during the week equipping/resourcing mom and dad to be the discipler of their child.

Imagine the distractions removed from the corporate worship.

Imagine the extra seats the church now has in their pews to fill with more guests as they reach their community. This church would go from 85% capacity to 60%, plenty of seats for new folks.

What does your church expect in children's ministry and in reaching families and are you prepared for it?

*Miss Nancy is a fictional character any similarities to Miss Nancy and this church are coincidental. (Well almost coincidental)

Last Night At Contagious

Last night we had a great time at Contagious. I'm not sure what the game is called but the students started some sort of slap the person next to you hand game. They were having fun playing this "elimination" game during Hang Time. Other students and leaders were out on the parking lot playing football while inside there was some ping pong and Apples to Apples going on. Hang Time is one of my favorite times in our youth ministry. It gives us, the youth leaders, a chance to sit around and talk with students and build relationships.

Our lesson last night was "You are not Alone". We played the "I've never..." game where a student stands in the middle and says, "I have never _______" and whoever has _______ must get up and switch seats. The last one standing then goes to the center and says, "I have never _______" and it repeats over and over. We then did a debrief and asked those in the middle how they felt. Some of the answers were, "everyone was looking at me", "alone", "not connected with those in the circle", etc. Sometimes in life we have those feelings and so do many others around us.

We then watched a movie clip from To Save a Life. You can watch it here, click on "I feel so alone."

Following the video clip we pretended the middle of the auditorium represented the river of life's pains. I then asked students to remain silent and if I read a statement that applied to them to walk across the "river". "If you are stressed out" cross the river, almost the entire group crossed. "If your parents are divorced cross the river" and more than a third crossed. We kept repeating different struggles and pains that we face in life. Interestingly enough no one ever crossed the river alone. The point was made, we are never alone and others are going through struggles just like you and I.

In their POD time students and their leaders debriefed the "Cross the River" exercise. From where I sat there were some good conversation going on. Students were opening up and leaders were caring. I think that's huge.

I then shared how we, as humans, tend to value some more than others. Some are twenty dollar bills and others we view as pennies. Jesus, the creator, the Son of God, came as a humble servant. If anyone deserved to have a high value, a crisp brand new one hundred dollar bill, it was Jesus yet he considered himself a servant. He came as a scuffed up penny. This puts life into perspective. We are all pennies. Our value is found in Jesus Christ's love for us. He loved us enough to die for us and that makes us valuable to God.

We took a look at Philippians 2:5-8

It has been 3 weeks since our "reboot". If my math skills are correct our youth group has grown 19% in attendance from the previous month. Students are memorizing scripture and attending Sunday morning worship. Last night our group was comprised of 65% regular Contagious students and 35% guests and MIA's who have come back. I think the "reboot" has been a good thing. My prayer is that God continues to work in Contagious Youth and that our students keep reaching out to their peers.

Prepared for What You Expect? Part 1

Something that in recent years that has really impacted my view of ministry is the fact that sometimes we aren't prepared for what we expect.

Let's say I'm a first time guest to a church. I'm looking for answers and help in life. I'm looking to connect with God. My family is important to me. So I start checking out churches in my community.

We decide to check out church #1 on the list. We arrive and there is no signage or direction on where we should take our baby. We finally figure out on our own where the nursery is. The nursery is one room with a boat load of babies from tiny infant to probably three years of age. There was adequate staffing but they were all in one big room and the church has several usable rooms. There was no check-in, name tags or security system at all to make sure the right kids went home with their parents. Pick up time was a bit chaotic as parents just crowded the doorway to the nursery nursery workers were opening the door to let parents in and keep babies from escaping.

More than likely if I had been a first time guest I would not have returned and would have looked elsewhere for a church home. Why? I want my kids to be safe. I want to be given a sense of "these folks have it together" instead of "we are just winging it". Parents want a sense of comfort when leaving their babies in a nursery.

Church #1 is expecting to reach families. Are they prepared for what they expect? A few simple "tweaks" of what is already in place could make a huge change and impact first time guests:
1. Age divide the nursery into at least two groups according to age or milestones.
2. Post nursery staff's names outside the doors.
3. A simple sign in sheet where parents write their name and the name of their child(ren)
4. Order some two part lables for the babies to wear that identifies the baby as well as their need and also has a corresponding security number that matches the label the parent has.
5. Set up a flow of traffic for parents after the service is over.
6. Place a gate across the door and not allow parents or non nursery staff in. Parents hand their babies over the gate and at pick up time the babies are handed back over the gate.

These "tweaks" could be made with a very minimal financial investment and a little organization/administration and a little "training" of the parents.

If we expect to reach young families what are we prepared for that expectation?