A Three Step Discipleship Roadmap

At some point this month, you likely found yourself evaluating the old year and planning for the year ahead. And like me, you probably pondered, “Where are we at, and where are we headed?”

For my part, I’m somewhat frustrated that we have fewer students than in past seasons, but I’m excited that we do have a great student to leader ratio. And rather than enter the New Year with complaints, I’m headed into 2017 saying, “These are the students Jesus has given us, and these are the students we need to be investing in.”

I want discipleship to be the focus of our 2017 ministry year, and here’s my roadmap to get us there:

Read More HERE

Focusing in on One on One Discipleship

This year our volunteer team if going to focus on one on one discipleship.  We have taken our group of students and divided them up among our leaders, including myself.  The goal is to take advantage of the moments at Student Church to ask questions, encourage, pray with the students.

My brain thinks in pictures, I learn and process better with pictures and flow charts.  I have taken what we are going to do and created a graphic using MindNode.  MindNode allows me to map out what is going on in my noggin, which can be a scary place at times.

I hope this will get you to thinking about how your student ministry team can best invest and disciple students.

That Feeling in the Pit of Your Stomach

No!  It's probably not that you are just hungry. 

I was walking out of FCA at a local high school on Wednesday morning.  As I was heading to the parking lot I passed a number of students rushing in so they wouldn't be marked tardy.  Among those students were two guys who used to be faithful attenders at our Student Church.  I of course smiled and said "Hey" to them.  They had big smiles and said hi to me and and asked me how I was doing.  As they each walked away the feeling hit me in the pit of my stomach.  It wasn't the blueberry Dunkin Donut I just consumed in FCA.  It was the questions.

When you come across a student(s) who you haven't seen in a while at youth group do the questions start rolling through your mind?  What do you think when a student walks by you and that student used to be at youth group faithfully every week and went on every event and trip?

I'll be totally transparent.  It bugs the heck out of me!  I don't like it!

Years ago when moments like this would happen I would start to question everything I was doing in youth ministry, even question if I was fit to be a youth pastor.  It would gnaw at me.
You probably ask these same questions:

What am I doing wrong?
What am I not doing?
Does youth group suck because of me?
Am I a terrible leader?
Did I say or do something wrong?
What could I have done to stop this from happening?

The focus becomes self.  We start judging ourselves.  We think it's about us.

Four things to remember youth worker:

• We are not God.
• We are not the Holy Spirit.
• We are not their parents.
• We cannot force a student to be a disciple, it's their choice.

Watching these students reminds me of the parable of the sower in Matthew 13.

• Some students will hear the gospel but they just won't get it.
• Some students will receive the gospel and be excited but never grow deep roots and they wither.
• Some students will receive the gospel but then the stuff of life pulls them away, priorities get out of whack.
• Some students will receive the gospel and grow and flourish and produce fruit in their lives.

What do we do then?

• Keep teaching the Bible, sound Biblical truth and applying it to life today.
• Model a growing, vibrant faith.
• Keep investing in students' lives and building relationships
• Most importantly pray.  Pray for our students by name, specific prayers.
• Don't blame yourself when a teen chooses to walk away from their faith or when a parent doesn't have the intestinal fortitude to say, "this is what we do in our home and as a family."

Stay in the trenches.  Keep ministering to students.  Don't allow Satan to sidetrack you with self doubt about your ability to minister to students.

The bonus is ten years down the road and you run into that teen who is now an adult and a parent and they are actively involved in their church and growing their faith.  You never know what is going to stick and then later help them correct their direction in life.

Discipleship - Connection (Part 2)

Find Part 1 Here.

Our connection to God should naturally lead us to be connected with other believers in a local body of believers, the church. (1 Corinthians 12) As we study the New Testament church we find that gathering together with other believers was a priority. (Acts 2) How do we teach our children that this connection to other believers is part of being a follower of Christ?

• Set the example. Much of our life is intertwined with other believers, our church. Both Mish and I are involved in Connection groups where we meet weekly to connect with others from the church. We are connected through serving with others in the church.

• The Church is a Priority - In our home church attendance isn't optional. It is a priority in our home just as it was with the early church in Acts 2 (they met daily so perhaps not as much as them). Our children will grow up knowing that involvement with and in the church is not an option but a priority. This is how I grew up. Sleeping in on Sunday morning wasn't a choice in our family growing up. I was forced to go to church my whole life. Guess where I am at every Sunday morning? Why? I was taught connection with the church is vital to spiritual health and growth. I was required to go to church but at the same time taught the reason why I should be involved in the church.
  

• Fellowship with other believers is important. Why? We belong to each other. Romans 12:5 There is a connection to each other. Christ died for you and Christ died for me. Our connection came at the high price of redemption. The church is where we find our "belonging". Life as a believer is meant to be lived out in fellowship with other believers. My desire is for my children to realize that their family is more than just their physical family. Their family is much larger because the church is their family as well.

My prayer is that our children, as they grow, will connect first with God through a relationship with Jesus Christ. Second I pray that they will learn by our example and teaching as their parents the importance of being connected with a local body of believers. Not just be church attenders but to live our life in fellowship with the church.

Discipleship - Connecting (part 1)

As a dad one the thing I hope most for is that my children will be connected. No one is meant to live this life alone and to attempt to do so is utter foolishness. We need each other because that is the way God designed us.

First I want to see my children connected to God. How will they learn about the most important connection in life? (John 14:6)

• Modeled in my life - Do they see in me that a relationship with God is important? I must display through my life that I have an ongoing and growing relationship with him. One of my memories as a child is of my dad sitting down in a chair with his Bible and a legal pad reading God's Word and taking notes. He showed me that his relationship with God was serious to him. This is teaching by example.

• Placed in the right environment - I think that hauling our three young'uns to church every Sunday morning is the beginning of teaching them the importance of this relationship. During the week we are planting lessons about God in their lives. Sunday at Kids' Zone what they are learning is being watered and fertilized to help them grow in God. There is a reinforcement there at church in what they are learning at home. This is a priority in our family. Disciple your kids at home, don't be dependent on the church to do this for you.
  

• Focusing their minds - each night when our three children are prayed with before we go to bed. Not the scary prayer "Now I lay me down to sleep . . . " type of prayer (scary? Yes! "If I should die before I wake". In my mind I hear it in the voice of Vincent Price) I pray with my oldest son that God would grow him to know God and to live for God above all else. The prayer with the baby twins is shorter but includes God's protection and direction in their lives. They are learning at 15 months old the importance of talking to God and that communication is vital in connection. They don't grasp the concept but they are learning. My children will grow up with this as a part of normal every day life effecting their life now and in the future.
  

Discipleship of Our Kids

Deuteronomy 6 is clear that the discipleship of our children is our responsibility as parents. So over the next few weeks I'm going to blog about discipleship. I believe that to be spiritually healthy I must be spiritually balanced. Same goes with my children as I "train them up". So much of my posting will be from a dad's point of view. Some of the areas of discipleship that I will post about are:

• Sharing faith
• Spiritual disciplines
• Serving the body of Christ
• Fellowship with the church
• Worshipping God in life

Questions I will look at:

• Do I teach by my example?
• What is our family's priority?
• What does the Bible teach about fellowship?
• What effect will this have on my grandchildren?

We all teach by our example that is why how we out live life is so important.
My family has priorities. What are they? Have I listed them out? How we spend our time and money as a family is a good reflection of our priorities. If we are going to teach our kids to follow Christ then the Bible is the best place to start. How we parent and disciple our own children will have a direct effect on how they disciple and parent their children. So what we do today, as a parent, has an impact on our family for generations to come. No pressure there, huh?

I will wrap up each post by stepping out of the role of dad and putting on the hat of youth pastor and weighing in as a fellow youth leader in the trenches.

Hopefully this will be a helpful little journey for some, mainly me.

Teaching Missions

We listen to the pastor say the word "missions" and we hear "grass hut, jungle, wicked snakes".

As parents part of our responsibility in discipling our kid is to teach them what missions really is all about.  As youth pastors we need to give students and parents the opportunity to experience missions first hand (together when possible).  There is no better teacher than experience.  

After we had a week long local missions project last summer I received an e-mail from a student who chose not to participate.  The student asked this question, "When are we going to go on a mission trip?"  Evidence that this student and many others aren't quite ready for a "missions trip" because they don't see reaching those around them as missions or as important.  Why?  Because they haven't learned.  Either the youth ministry isn't doing a good enough job communicating missions or parents aren't teaching their kids about missions or students are hearing but not listening.

I'm stoked about Sunday's Contagious.  Students have gathered all the food needed to deliver complete Turkey dinners to families who are in need.  Each POD is going to go with their leader, and a few spare parents, to a family's home and deliver the box.  Simply to say, "Happy Thanksgiving.  NHC youth cares about you and God loves you."

After delivery we will gather back at the building and the PODs will discuss their missions experience together.  Should be a great youth group gathering.

Growing in Ministry

Our responsibility as parents and youth ministers is to help our kids, students, grow in ministry.  How do we accomplish this?  Here are a few ideas:

Teach them SHAPE

S – Spiritual gifts – as believers in Christ we have each been gifted by the Holy   Spirit and these gifts are to be used serving the church.

H – Heart – Using what we are passionate about to serve the church

A – Abilities – We each have abilities to be used in serving the church

P – Personality – We each have a unique personality that can be used in serving the church

E – Experiences – In life we each have different experiences we have been through that can be used in serving the church.  Even the bad experiences because God never wastes a hurt.

Model

Since more is caught than is taught it is good for students to see us serving the church.  What ministry are you involved in at your church?  Does your teen see you serving regularly at your church?  Perhaps, at family devotion time, share with your teen what your ministry is and why you love serving Christ and his church (without preaching).

Involvement

Look for opportunities for students to serve.  At NHC several of our students help in our Kids’ Zone each Sunday morning.  We also have opportunities to serve by allowing them to help set up and prepare for the youth group gathering.

As a parent we can look for opportunities to involve our kids in the ministry we are active in.  Bring your teen along to help, maybe not every week but enough for them to get a taste of what serving and why it is important to you.

Discussion
If your teen gets involved in ministry look for opportunities to “debrief” and allow them to share how they felt about the ministry experience.  Point out others who are serving and talk about their ministry together.

Parent Discipleship Resources

Heart Connex devotionals are designed for very busy families. The head of the household can print the studies and make preparations in only about five minutes. In most cases families can complete the studies in 20 minutes.  

Heart Connex is a free service.  Simply click on the picture and go to the site to find out more and sign up and get started.  A great way to get together with your teen twice a week for a little devotion time together.  Spending this time together is vital for parents to disciple their teen.

Learn to live, laugh, love, and play together as a family. When you learn the 10 essential principles for creating a happy, close-knit household, you’ll discover a family that shines with love for God and one another!

This book is priced at $11.69 at Homeword.com  Simply click on the picture of the book for more info on this resource.

Possible stroke of genius?  

I'm currently working through this short book.  I know that students are a lot like me in that they get discouraged at times because it doesn't seem that they are successful at spending time everyday in quiet time with God.  We don't have to feel defeated.  Doug Fields has some great encouragement and ideas on refueling spiritually.  

As I was reading yesterday I thought that this would be a great book for parents and their teens to work through together.  Each chapter has some reflection and action activities as well as a discussion guide.  It is easy to read and some good humor sprinkled throughout.  I would encourage parents to go to the web site by clicking on the book and ordering a book for themselves and one for their teen (s) and work through this together.  

If I had grasped what is taught in this book as a teenager I probably would not have struggled so much as an adult in setting apart time to get alone with God.

Great Bible Reading Tool

I often read the Bible using Biblegateway.com  It is a great tool that allows you to choose the version and you can compare different versions as well as look up the footnotes and all at the click of the mouse.

Today I found that Bible Gateway has a daily Bible reading plan a person can use to read through the Bible in a year.  You can use the RSS or if you have iCal you can download it to your calendar and simply click on it and jump from your calendar right to the screen with today's daily reading.  It's pretty slick.  

If you don't already have a daily Bible reading plan I would encourage you to check this out.

How Concerned or Involved are you?

Sunday night we had a new family bring their teen to youth group.  Awesome!  Even cooler than that was the parents sat down with me before hand to find out what we were about and what we did at youth group.  That is rare.  I think most Christian parents just make an assumption about their church's youth ministry without ever talking with the YM team.   I can only think of a few times, in the 15 years I have been doing youth ministry, where parents actually asked if they could stick around and see what we do.

I encourage you to hang out at your son or daughter's youth group one night (discreetly so as to not cramp their style) and see what your church's youth ministry is all about.  Perhaps if this were done more often parents would not ground their kids from youth group because most will discover that there teens are actually learning from God's Word and not just playing Pudgy Bunny.

This whole thought leads me to this question:

How important is it to you as a parent that your teen be plugged into a church with an active and healthy youth ministry?  Why or why not?   

Something to think about.  

40 Days of Prayer

Tonight at midnight our church kicks off 40 days of prayer.  Our church has committed to praying around the clock, 24 hours a day, for the next 40 days.  Someone from NHC will be praying every minute of everyday lifting our church to God in prayer.  I believe we are going to see God move in our church during this 40 day period.  Perhaps God is moving every week but we just aren't aware because we aren't tuned in.  During the next 40 days we will be tuned in.  I'm already pretty much stoked about our worship gatherings next Sunday morning and our Lord's Supper gathering next Sunday night because I believe this prayer will draw us closer as a church to God and closer to one another.

One of our students approached me and asked if she could lead a prayer time with the youth group.  So before Contagious each Sunday night students will get together ten minutes before Contagious begins students will gather together and pray for their youth group.  Sweet!!

Parents can download a prayer sheet and prayer journal to use with their children.  Hopefully some parents will use this as an opportunity to teach their children how to pray.  What will be super cool is that some parents will begin now a habit that will impact and change their families as they begin the habit of praying together daily.  Part of discipling your children and teens is teaching them the importance of prayer and how to pray.

Tomorrow morning at 12:00 am the 40 days launches.  I get my first turn on the prayer calendar at 6:15 am.    I think there are going to be some awesome testimonies spring out of this focused prayer time.  What would happen in your own life if you really spent time daily in prayer?

HABITS

Habits is a great resource to use to teach students about the basic disciplines we need to grow spiritually.  This is a series I teach at least every year to year-and-a-half.  I don't want students to graduate from high school and then at the same time grad from their faith.  My desire is that when students leave the youth ministry at NHC that they know enough about the HABITS that they will continue to grow and get plugged into a church wherever they are going to college and continue to serve Christ and his church.

3 out of 4 students walking away from their faith when they graduate.  What is your church's youth ministry doing to take steps to prevent this from happening in your students?

HABITS is a an awesome resource.  I would encourage you to take a look at HABITS.  If you want to know more about this tool you can click the link to the left of this post and check it out.  (It is on sale right now so you can save some money from your youth budget!)  All we can do as youth leaders is to provide the teaching and the resources, the student has to take the steps to put what he (she) is hearing and learning into action in their own life.

Divorce

Today on Studentdevo.com there is a good blog post on Divorce and Matthew 19 from Amy Brothers, of Duck UMC.  Amy is part of our Outer Banks Youth Ministry Network.  Many students in our youth groups are dealing with divorce in their families or in the lives of their close friends.

If you have a teen or a youth group let them know about this site.  Each day a devotional is posted that only takes a few minutes to read but they can also click the links to dig deeper on their own in the Bible.  The whole purpose of this devotion site is to help students get into the HABIT of Hang Time with God.

Preventing the Fizzle

I have been taking student's to camp every summer for around 16 years now.  Every year I see student's make commitments or come to the realization that their walk with God has to change for the better.  Every year I see these same students fizzle out.  They are on fire at camp because of the removal and saturation and then when they get back to the real world these decisions quickly fade away. . .(Read More)

Contagious Last Night

Last night at Contagious....

>much weeping over the broken ping pong table

>missing students who were at school functions

>football on the front lawn (I think I saw Ramon out there playing, some lessons are never learned)

>some girls who started two weeks ago have now been three weeks straight.  I feel a magnet dance comin on.

>new girl showed up even though she knew her two friends would not be there.  Super cool!

>22 students took key tag verses home, committing to memorize a verse a week.

>adult leaders must memorize a verse this week or a students can challenge the leader and if the leader can't quote the verse they owe the kid $5.  Zoiks!

Here is our outline from last night:

DEVELOPING HABITS THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE

Part 3: Planting God’s Word in your life

Question:  What do you have committed to memory?

What occupies the most space in your memory?

I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.

Psalm 119:11

Some promises from God’s Word…

·      God’s Word GUIDES me                       

Key word: direction

 Colossians 3:16

·      God’s Word FEEDS me                        

Key word: growth

Jeremiah 15:16 (NIV)

·      God’s Word STRENGTHENS me                  

Key word: temptation

 Psalm 119:9-11

Some goals for a growing Christian and God’s Word…

DESIRE it ►►► DELIGHT in it ►►► DEVOUR it ►►► DISPLAY it

Jesus said, “Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.” John 13:17

Some ideas for developing the habit of Bible memorization…

1. Determine if the benefits are worth the EFFORT

2. Gather some verses to MEMORIZE

Verses that: challenge/protect/guide/promise/encourage/instruct

3. Commit to a plan to develop the HABIT of memorizing Scriptures

 Joshua 1:8

If you want to use HABITS in your youth group check out Simply Youth Ministry  for this series and the tools to give students to help them establish the necessary HABITS in their lives.

So we have tackled H - hang time with God; A - accountability, B - Bible memorization.  Next week is I.

Parent/Teen Discussion:

Why is it important to memorize scripture verses?

How can scripture memorization help your life?  Change your life?

Tell your teen your favorite memory verse.

Take the $5 challenge with your teen.  Give yourselves a week and if you don't memorize a verse you owe them $5 and if your teen doesn't memorize a verse they owe you an hour worth of hard labor around the house. ;)

Next Week:

 

The Fringe and our Responsibility

So this past weekend in a 45 minute break out session with a bunch of youth leaders (most of which were volunteers in their church.  God bless those people! a few were paid youth workers and even had one that was paid and since he was the "hired" man let him do it all.  Yikes!) and in this 45 minute session we attempted to tackle 3 issues, without much success because you can't tackle most of these topics of youth ministry in 10 minutes.  In this session I could sense some serious frustration and strong desire to be affective in reaching students.  (it was that obvious)

(One of our topics was moving students from the Fringe the outside looking in) to the Core.  How is that accomplished?

The following are the thoughts of The ADD Youth Pastor (and I approve this message.)

Let's look at just moving them from the fringe and into the community.  From hanging on the outside of youth group, coming to Sunday morning church with mom and dad but not showing up to participate or get connected to the rest of the youth group.   Some thoughts:

• The Core has to discover that they need to be the ones to reach out to the Fringe.  (it just comes better from a peer than from a overweight, old, youth pastor)  So their is a student's responsibility from the Core.
• Youth group has to have a draw.  If it is boring, if there is no hang time, if it is an hour long lecture, if the adult leaders sit around in their own little pocket of fellowship instead of rubbing elbows with a student and whooping them in a game of Uno, if the Core are snobs then why would a Fringe want to take part.
• The Fringe has to take a gamble and try youth group at least once.  This is where positive peer pressure can really come into play.  Which leads to the next. . .
• Parents have to parent.  Christian parents have to take the lead by setting the example.  Are they connected to a small group themselves?  Is corporate worship a priority in their home?  Parents have to say, "Wednesday night I'm taking you to youth group.  If this is freaking you out find a friend and Ill take them with you".  Possibly stop for pizza on the way back and debrief and find out how it went.  I'm a parent and I can tell you that I will never let Ty not go to school because "I don't want to go" comes out of his mouth.  I'm the parent and I'm supposed to know best.  How much more important is surround our children's lives with the Word of God?  I have always liked this parenting saying:  "If you don't parent your teen you won't like who will.
• If the Fringe doesn't have Christian parents that is where it is our responsibility as a church to step in and mentor  the Fringe as a community of believers.

So evaluate:

The youth group meeting

The Core student's attitude towards the Fringe

Your responsibility as a Parent before God  (Deut. 6)

Your responsibility as a community of believers to students that are in need of Christian adults influencing their lives.